9/18 Weekly Recap: exams, college apps, dance, social anxiety

Hey guys! Long time now talk!! I can’t believe it’s been nearly one month since my last blog post.. What is this?!?!?! I’ve really missed sharing my journey’s with you guys… And SO much has happened during the past few weeks. Now before we get to the heart of today’s post, I would just like to thank EVERYONE who keeps up with my blog for joining me on my journey as I stumble through these formative years leading into adulthood. Words cannot do justice to how much I appreciate everyone’s kind feedback and support for me and this blog. Love you guys so so much!

Now, where shall I begin??? AHHH… exams. This entire week has been pretty busy with studying and more studying. I had a calculus test today, and lemme just say- those 55 minutes were INTENSE. The concepts alone that were being tested were not too bad. Rather, it was the complexity of the problems themselves that annoyed me. Honestly, though, I’m done feeling pissed over something that already happened. Ever since third period this morning, my mind’s been preoccupied by calculus and negative, insecure thoughts. Did I differentiate correctly? Did I find the correct points of intersection? But you know what? At the end of the day, I studied hard and tried my best. Nothing else you can do. My goal for future exams, then, is to simply study diligently, walk into the classroom composed and confident on test day (not like the nervous wreck I was today), and when it’s all finished, be proud that I tried my best and move on with life.

Next up- COLLEGE APPS! A stressful process indeed… I am not applying early for any colleges, but I need to meet an application deadline by October 7th for the national merit scholarship. UC deadline is November 31st, and most private schools’ deadlines are January 1st. In addition to generating my magnum opus essay, I have to take care of counselor and teacher rec letters and retake the SAT math 2 subject test October 3rd. AIIIII-YAAA… Even though I started college app’s early, I still feel like a tsunami of college STUFF is hitting me all at once, and I’m struggling to stay afloat. And I am sure many high school seniors feel this way right now.. If anyone has any tips for getting through this stressful time, I’d love to know.

Thirdly- DANCE! So…… I COMPETED AT MY FIRST BALLROOM DANCE COMPETITION 2 WEEKS AGO! It was truly an incredible experience, just being back out performing after three years. Ballroom and gymnastics competitions are two very different worlds- the energy, the competition dynamic, the level of audience interaction. I could go on for hours just discussing my competition experience, but I choose not to at this time, only because I’m heading to dance practice very soon, and this post is long enough as it is. I’m currently working on a separate post devoted to Embassy Ball, so stay tuned for that in the near future! Unfortunately, dance this past week has not been my priority, just because of school pressures. I’m definitely looking forward to a lot of cathartic dancing this weekend, though!! Dance and studying. And college apps. Ugh. Okay, I will stop complaining now.

Finally, I’d like to discuss my fight against social anxiety and ways in which I’ve tackled this beast during the week. Along with participating in class discussions and sitting with friends at lunch (instead of studying in the library), I helped man the Green Youth Alliance booth at clubs fair yesterday! Clubs fair is this thing we have every beginning of the school year, where most school clubs set up a table in the quad and advertise to interested students. Think overpriced food, chaos, lots of noise, and a tad of claustrophobic vibes. This year, being the vice president of GYA (an environmental club), I had the responsibility of helping to advertise our club. Was I nervous in the beginning? Of course! Yelling and advertising to complete strangers is definitely way outside my comfort zone. So yes, I was nervous. But as I met prospective members and told them why GYA is such a worthwhile club, I realized that I was really enjoying myself! I enjoyed yelling out, “FREE CANDY!” and “JOIN GYA!!!” and meeting freshmen, sophomores, juniors and even some seniors. I enjoyed educating others about current environmental issues and how GYA plans on tackling these problems. I loved seeing students’ eyes light up in curiosity and interest as I informed them of our plan to adopt an elephant this coming year.  Midway through clubs fair, one of my friends who knew of my public speaking anxiety came up to me and told me that my public speaking skills have improved so much. I was very delighted to hear these words, as my friend’s acknowledgement of my improvement only cemented my already growing confidence among people.

Alright guys, that’s it for this post! I hope you all have a weekend of both productivity and recuperation. I will do my best to do post a weekly recap every Friday, as I believe allotting time for self-reflection is instrumental to personal growth and reaching self actualization  (an AP Psych term… I had to, Ms. Davis.) I definitely encourage you all to keep a diary if you don’t already, or even start a blog, as both mediums allow you to reflect on your life, identify what you’re doing right and things you can improve upon, and ultimately become the person you aspire to be!!! (that came out really cheesy. Still true though.)

Lots and lots of hugs to all you guys!

Belicia ❤