It’s 11:01 a.m. My hair and makeup appt is in an hour. Listening to Eminem to get in the “zone”. Mom keeps checking in on me… She worries too much. I probably get my anxious temperament from her.
I’m nervous. Nothing new there. Second latin dance competition ever… competing with a new partner in the open gold category. My heart is pounding. There’s a heaviness in my chest that rises to my throat.
I compete at 3:43 p.m. Already the nerves are kicking in. I want to perform well. I’ve worked very hard for this competition… I must deliver. I can’t let down my mom, dad, coaches, friends. They all expect so much of me… And I can’t let down myself. I will deliver.. I always do. I am a fighter.
10 years of competition experience and I still get nervous. This is normal. I just don’t feel ready… But no one ever feels ready before a competition.
I have a plan. I will stick to that plan no matter what happens. The only thing I can control is my response to whatever happens out there… I will deliver. I will give each dance maximum effort, deliver to the audience, to my partner, to myself. I always deliver… I just need the confidence.
Everything will be fine. It will! I refuse to anticipate failure; it won’t happen. I will enjoy!!
Nothing I can do now but try my hardest and stick to the plan. It’s time to go. See you on the other side!!!
7:58 p.m. Well… I SURVIVED! Got first in all my single dance events… but honestly, it really isn’t about the results. Competing is always about personal growth and enjoyment.
Sadly, I can’t say I enjoyed myself completely… I let the stress and anxiety hinder me from feeling completely at one with the dance. I compete again tomorrow in the multidance event, so my goal for tomorrow is to simply let go of the negative energy and be happy on that floor. I do feel much more confident after today, and I plan on doing even better tomorrow, with less stress 🙂 Most dances went smoothly, except my jive during the second round. My partner fell down mid-dance, resulting in me losing focus and forgetting the routine. For most of the routine post-fall, we struggled to get back to where we were. It was a trainwreck. But I refuse to beat myself up over it any more… It’s in the past, and to recover from such incidents takes experience, that’s all! Another thing I struggled with was facial expression- when I get nervous, my facial muscles tighten up, thus making it difficult for me to smile. The solution- don’t be nervous! Relax! I know, easier said than done, right? But with more competition experience under my belt, coupled with deep breathing techniques, I am sure to feel less and less pressure each time. Better rest up for tomorrow! Talk to you soon!!