Hi everyone! Today is December 23, 2019. Aka, Christmas Eve-Eve! It’s currently 10:45pm on this Monday night. I’m feeling sleepy, but also felt the urge to write this reflective piece.
This past month or so has really been looking up for me. The first few months upon moving back home to NorCal were some of the toughest of my life. I was clinically depressed after graduating college, for many reasons. Eventually, I was able to get the help I needed, and I’m happy to say that with the support of many, I was able to get through this very rough patch.
I owe everything to my family. Though it is sometimes difficult for them to understand what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder, I can tell they are making a concerted effort to learn more about the illness and support me in any way they can. Their methodologies, albeit flawed at times, stem from good intention. My dad sits in the passenger seat as I drive to San Francisco twice a week for acupuncture treatment, because I am too scared to drive alone to the city. When I was so depressed I couldn’t get out of bed for therapy, my mother coaxed me out from under the sheets and drove me to my appointments. My brothers were there when I needed someone there to listen to my woes. If I didn’t have such a great family, I don’t know if I’d be here today, sitting in my bed, typing out this post.
As I pick myself back up (for the hundredth time) and brush off the dust, I am, once more, looking for ways to grow myself in various dimensions. I truly miss the intellectual vibrancy of college culture. It’s something you really take for granted when you are in school. You get so caught up in the grind of studying for exams and writing papers and maintaining your GPA, you often forget that at the end of the day, being a college student is a PRIVILEGE you’ve earned. That said, just because college is over doesn’t mean the learning has to stop. I’m trying to make a greater effort to read more books. Next up on my list is NY Times Bestseller, Educated, by Tara Westover.
In addition to reading, I am in the early stages of outlining my first novel, which will be a compilation of some of the blogs I’ve written in the past few years. It’ll be a coming-of-age tale of a young woman (aka me, lol) entering college in 2016, where she fights to find her voice, her calling, and her sense of self-worth. The novel will focus heavily on my personal struggles with bipolar disorder and how I managed to cope with it while dealing with the academic and social pressures of college life. It will also touch on aspects of my upbringing, including growing up as a triplet, being a competitive gymnast-turned-dancer, finding my love of writing, etc. etc. So, super super excited for this long-term project! Aiming for the novel to be finished in the next six months.
Alrighty, folks. It’s been a long day. Time to get some shut-eye. Will talk to you guys soon!