New Year’s Resolutions 2020

Happy second day of the new year, my dear readers! It’s currently 12:09pm on this Thursday afternoon. I am at my grandmother’s apartment right now. Two of my friends spent the night last night, which is why we moved our party out of the main house, since 8 people is definitely a crowd. Friends left early this morning– one to work, the other back to Orange County. So here I am, alone in the one bedroom apartment, typing away.

Woke up feeling energized for the new year, eager to tackle my myriad of goals. But I am careful to keep the motivation and passion in check, for there is a fine line between inspiration and mania. Sometimes I wish I could be a calmer, more level-headed person. Slow and steady wins the race, as they say. My life is just one big sinusoidal pattern of high-flying ups and crippling downs. When I’m manic, I feel as if I can do anything. I can whip out a 3,000 word article in less than 30 minutes. Conversely, when I inevitably come crashing back down to the depths of depression, I can’t even get myself out of bed. It’s not fun, living life like this. But I must learn to manage.

Now, onto the heart of today’s post– my New Year’s Resolutions! In the past, come every new year, I’d find myself setting hundreds of long-term and short-term goals, expecting myself to achieve all of them throughout the course of the year. I’ve since given myself a hard reality check. I realize that, while it’s important to set concrete goals for yourself to maintain that personal growth, what works better for me is to have an overarching theme for the year, which your goals revolve around. This year, my theme is “FEARLESS”. Living life on the edge, beyond my comfort zone. Saying “yes” to new and exciting opportunities, scared as I may be. I’m tired of living my life as if I’m walking on eggshells. Eager to please, scared of making mistakes and embarrassing myself. That, to me, is a prison. I no longer want to be a prisoner of my own mind. My mind… oh, how I wish I could trust it. I know I am capable of many things. My mind is my at once my greatest superpower and Achille’s Heel. I must learn to control it first, before I can unleash my true potential.

But I digress. This year, in accordance with my theme of fearlessness, I wish to face my fears, head on. Kick that fear of driving. Expose myself to more social situations so I can finally feel completely comfortable in my own skin when interacting with other people. I want to try new hobbies that challenge me– fitness classes, new styles of dance and writing, maybe even get back into piano. I want to commit myself to Toastmasters so I can become a great public speaker. It’s my “Year of YES”. Say yes to opportunities. Don’t let fear of failure get in my way of growth.

Other important goals include making money to support myself financially, write my book, continue blogging and writing feature articles about athletes. Okay, I see a pattern emerging, lol! Look at me, setting way too many goals, once more. Chill out, Belicia. Focus on the most important one, which is taking care of my mental and physical health. Attending therapy regularly, staying on my medications, going to acupuncture twice a week, exercising on a daily basis, cutting out unhealthy lifestyle choices, committing myself to my creative passions. Hopefully, if I do all of these things, I will be able to stabilize my mind and be happier, healthier, and more capable of achieving everything I set out to do.

Alrighty, folks! Time for me to head home and eat lunch. I will talk to you guys later, and again, I wish you a happy new year!

 

 

XOXO,

Belicia

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