Friday 10/20/17: Reflection

Omg guys. It’s 11:04 am, I just got out of Russian class, and I am freaking out because I didn’t understand a single thing the teacher talked about in class!

I feel so behind in Russian… I feel like everyone else in the class is grasping the material, and I’m the only one drowning. Maybe it’s because I haven’t taken a language course since freshman year of high school, and I’m really rusty at learning languages. But Russian is proving to be very, very difficult for me. I don’t even find office hours useful at this point, as I don’t understand the grammar well enough to know what questions to ask. I will get it eventually. That much, I know.  Just gotta put the pedal to the metal and study the living hell out of this stuff.

For that reason, I decided to not go home this weekend. I just called my mom, who agreed that if I had too much studying to do, I should stay at UCLA and focus, as traveling takes a lot of time. You know where to find me for the rest of the day– Powell library! I have a statistics discussion from 3-3:50pm, but aside from that, I’m done with classes for the day. Speaking of stats, yesterday’s lecture was pretty overwhelming as well. And LS 15 is not getting any easier either. Plus, my LS 15 group and I are debating next Wednesday, and we haven’t met up yet to rehearse. Clearly, I have lots to do this weekend. No dancing until I get my stuff done.

I know I’m not a genius. But right now, I feel well below average in terms of innate intelligence. If there’s one thing I can do, though, it’s work hard. So whatever I lack in innate ability, I will compensate with my discipline and work ethic. Thank you, God, and thank you, gymnastics. But I mustn’t go crazy, either. Gotta remember to take care of myself.

Speaking of caring for myself… I totally missed my appointment with my psychiatrist this morning at 7am. I should have known better than to schedule an appointment that early… I really need to reschedule soon, though, as I’ve run out of Prozac, the anti-depressant. Hopefully I don’t relapse into a depression as a result…

Alrighty guys. I can’t procrastinate any longer with writing. Gotta get to work. Wish me luck!


1:40pm

I’ve been studying Russian for a good two hours, with a ten minute walking break in between. I feel like my head is gonna explode, and I know I’m beyond tears when I start laughing at how ridiculously difficult this subject (придмет) is. I think it’s time to eat some lunch– I’m positively famished, and my brain needs the energy to continue to function.


4:55pm

Back at the apartment. Went to discussion section for Psych 100A (stats class), but I find studying on my own more useful than listening to the TAs regurgitate what the (really hot) professor said in lecture. Did some groceries and washed the dishes. Now gotta get back to studying statistics. At 8pm, my friend Michael from Russian class is coming over to study with me. After we finish studying, I’m probably going to study some LS 15. Doesn’t look like I’m going out tonight!


10:58pm

Hey guys! Currently sitting in Powell library. Just rode my bike here from my apartment. I ended up leaving the house for a couple hours to dance. After getting my sanity back, I went back to my apartment, took a shower and had a Russian study session with Michael. It helped a lot, actually, to study with someone who understood the material better than me. Plus, Michael’s a fun, nice guy, so being around him makes studying a lot more bearable.

After Michael left, I continued to study, only to realize that I had exhausted my productivity, and was in dire need of a change of scenery, if I were to study any more. So here I am now, at Powell, about to continue cranking away. Got my iced coffee by my side and a bag of snacks, toiletries, phone/laptop chargers, paper, pens and textbooks. Plan for tonight: do a few more hours of Russian, a couple hours of stats and call it a night. Well, by the time I finish, it’ll be morning. There are certain times in life that call for all-nighters. This is one of those times. I am determined to stay up until I understand the material. So, without further delay, I must end this post to accomplish my mission. Here I go!

 

XOXO,

Belicia

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